Monday, January 09, 2006

Can you say dimples? Goodness, look how big that boy is! Thanks to uncle Shane he can stand now too!

1 comment:

FishHead said...

I've decided that if society would be more like this Shane character, life would truly be so much better. Take the observation made here, for example, that Shane has taught this infant to stand. How many people are still waiting for someone to teach them how to stand? I also happen to know that "Shane," if that really is his name, has taught other infants important life functions like crawling, walking, and catching a ball. There are so many others that need taught, I really doubt that Shane can get to them all.
The reality of it is that Shane is doing what parents are not, namely, teaching their children how to crawl, stand, walk, and catch little inflatable balls that could never tip over a lamp. What is wrong with parents today? Do they really believe what they read in "books" about child development? Do you really need to wait till your kid is in the 7th month to start to think about doing these things? I, Jabba, am of the opinion that all parents everywhere should operate under the false impression that their child is the first child to that will ever function like an adult before the 12 month. I mean really, why not try to let the kid hold up his own head on the first day? Maybe just set the newborn on the edge of a table with his head hanging off the edge and see if he can raise it up and look around? Maybe he will! Maybe the reason that kids have such weak necks is because their parents are constantly coddling them and doing all the heavy lifting. I'm going to be a different kind of parent. I'm going to set a place for my newborn at the table with steak and potatoes, with a fork and a sharp steak knife. This whole "theory" about needing milk before the meat is simply unfounded. When was the last time you read a scientific, peer-reviewed article about that? Most of us have never even seen such a thing, so why do we continue in the dark? If my newborn can't come to the table and cut up his steak and put it in his mouth, chew it up, and swallow it, then he's going to be on a new kind of Atkinson's, isn't he? It'll be the all steak diet, all right. But not a lot of consumption.
Also, why not teach your kid to crawl. I mean actually get down on the floor and show him how its done. How do we expect these little ones to be able to crawl around when all they see is walking all day long? It is one of the miracles of life, isn't it? One day an infant is just sitting there, and suddenly thinks, "Well, I can't do that whole Bi-ped thingy, so maybe I'll try to scoot around on my stomach. what's this, I've got knees? and hands too? maybe that would work."
As parents, or future parents, or as concerned members of society, we really ought to start getting down on all fours and showing our 3-5 day olds how we expect them to act. Example folks, it's an age-old principle.